what is your prerogative?…
Ever wonder what is the proper thing to do when it comes to getting to know someone? What are the standards, do’s and don’ts? And even if the guide lines that those around you try to imprint in your head you probably still wount be able to know someone fully.
The old fashion way to get to know someone is to wait until you are married to find out how they are in bed.
Now a days the idea of waiting until you are married is out the window. Am sure the percentage of couples that follow this is a fraction. The other option other than doing it with in the three first dates is after the three months from the first date.
One particular wise friend advises the rest of my friends following the 90 days is the best rule and odds are you will see the persons true colors. When you stop and think about that, three months doesn’t sound so bad, right? Plus, the standard of three months would help to get to know someone on an intellectual level and non-physical terms. The problem would rise (literally) when you become tempted by spending too much time alone and watching movies in the comfort of a bed or couch doesn’t help. Consumed with attraction and temptation physical temptation gets the better of both.
This would definitely conclude in crossing the line in a second!
After the deed has happened, Does it mean you can’t get to know that person even if you continue to see them every week?
This can be debated. My family vs. a couple of promiscuous girlfriends.
I am modern and old fashion at the same time. As an overview its best to know each other past the first few dates. If the chemistry is there and you have no expectations from this other person, why not? IF pleasure is what you seek, I think its okay to cross the line before the three months.
The terms are different if as a woman, what you are looking for is marriage.
Then, this is when the three months rule should be applied. As some guy friends have said to me: “your shit is gold”. So, women should always treat it as such and try to keep the men intrigued as long as they can.
Regardless, I do not condemn nor support if women decide to sleep with someone before the three months or after. To each its own. I feel its more important to know yourself because odds are, you will never really get to know someone in three months or even years! Its much essential to get to know their intentions rather than get to know them in a personal way. However, my family is stronger about keeping your legs closed until you know it’s a serious relationship.
This is when it becomes a personal issue with my family. They expect me to know better and make wise decisions based on what they expect of me. The way I see it, I am a grown woman who has adopted a more americanized ways compared to the old school ways my sisters were brought up. It may not be necessarily good but I live my life the way I want it. I sometimes can be promiscuous in my own ways. But there are times, I play hard to get. I like to have fun and do respect me doing so.
I also try to live with out regrets but I have to confess sometimes my actions have brought me to regret certain part of my life. After a bad repercussion, I can’t help but think back to what my siblings advise me. And ponder that perhaps if I adopt their ways of living, I would avoid sour moments my actions have caused me.
Dont get me wrong, I feel I have manners and morals that have helped me through life. But at the same time, I feel people in general need to learn from mistakes. But at the end, does anyone really learn?
It might take time, but I like to think we all learn from our mistakes. At least, am trying.
- Posted in: Single Life